At the beginning of the last semester of school, the ability of the GF and I to make it through a loaf of bread before it went moldy was unreliable. To remedy this situation, my better half purchased a little pop-up toaster, quite cheaply. My thoughts at the time were “how can you fuck up a toaster?” Well, my questions were answered forthright. In what I can only assume was its enthusiasm to pop upward, it would not remain in the Toast position. One had to force and cajole and bloody well beat the thing with a bat to get a decent result out of it.

My turn to buy the toaster came nary two months later. This time, we skimped not and got a nice chromed model with a bagel setting and everything. Bread flies out of the package now and never is it eaten untoasted. I must say that a ‘bagel’ setting is very useful, as it heats on only one side. Not only are bagels improved, but hamburger buns are much improved.

For my birthday, the GF bestowed unto me a whole toaster oven which has, in the past, been my weapon of choice for toasted sandwiches and heating up frozen pizza. Our cup currently overfloweth with bread-burning possibilities, much to our pleasure.

I had to do some grocery shopping today and while the GF and I were trawling through Kroger for edibles, I decided I needed to fry up some chicken wings (on further review, I should’ve gotten some breasts and made fingers instead). Then I thought, “since I’m going to make a mess frying anyway, I might as well get some mushrooms and find out if the excellent results of my last fried mushroom experiment were a fluke or not.” Of course, the GF doesn’t like mushrooms so I thought “maybe I should grab some onions or leeks or cheese to fry for her to eat and to see if she likes the improved breading.” She opted instead to get some tortellini for me to try frying.

Skaughtisch Breading

One pile of AP flour. A goodly sized pile, big enough to cover what ever it is you plan to cook.
Lowry’s season salt. A lot. Put in slightly more then you think is necessary, then pour some more on.
Black Pepper. Freshly ground from your pepper grinder, or just use the ground stuff from the can.
Garlic power and maybe Paprika, to taste.

One bowl of milk.

Dunk the mushrooms in milk and toss them in the flour/spice mixture. Fry at 375 for 45-50 seconds. Smaller mushrooms have proven to be better.

The tortellini takes the breading ok, but it really just needs to be fried at 375 for 20-30 seconds (do a handful at a time) then salt when it’s still hot. Very unhealthily good.

Fry 2-3 wings at 360 for 5-7 minutes. The GF liked her wings with the milk soak before the breading was applied, but I liked the wings where I skipped that (made the breading thinner and adhered better).

I am very glad my metabolism is capable for burning all that fat; I’ll be sorry when it’s gone.

So my drink of choice for the last few months was about 20% Gin and 80% Ginger Ale. I kinda like the Gin because it’s just astringent enough to keep me from really drinking, so I’ll only ingest enough before I can’t take it anymore to get a slight buzz (maybe what I get from a couple of beers). However, recently I have grown very distasteful of this drink. I found myself substituting Vodka for the Gin and just relying on my good sense to keep the drunkenness at bay. I found myself drinking even less.

When cloverdose and I went to Chicago, I bought a 12 pack of ginger ale to stick in the car. Normally I buy 2-liter bottles of Kroger brand ginger ale, but I wanted cans so I had to spring for Canada Dry. It turns out that the Kroger brand tastes like ass. I don’t know why I didn’t notice when I started buying the stuff, or why I really kept drinking the stuff, but goddamn the real stuff is better. A brief experiment has since proved that Canada Dry ginger ale and Gin is actually drinkable, which means I can finally finish off that bottle of Skol in my fridge.

Also, in other alcohol related news, my GF bought me a flask for my birthday. This proves she is the best GF ever. I’ve used it a number of times for actual alcohol, but so far my favorite use it to put Dr. Pepper or Sprite in it and drink it before class. I get the best looks.

Ladies and gentlemen, tonight shall see the dawning of a new age. An age of knowledge and reason, where our eyes shall be opened unto the very secrets of the gods. If you doubt your constitution at all, come no further, for your very brain may melt upon the dark secrets revealed herein.

The Marshmellow Tortilla… thing. Is it good?

Actually, sorta yeah. I’m amazed.